Tomorrow is Day 50 since we sent our LOI (Letter of Intent). Its also the first day of a three day weekend, which means that we know it will be at least day 53 before we could hear anything. I don't want us to get our hopes up too much though because the LOA (Letter of Approval) may not come until day 60 or 70, or heaven forbid, longer away than that. We just take it a day at a time. We are thankful for the boys' school activities, family events, and other things that occupy our time and makes this wait not quite so hard. We are grateful for friends who keep us laughing and on our toes. We are even glad for work (as bizarre as that seems) as it keeps us concentrating on other tasks (some of the time at least).
Feel free to vote again while you are here. Browse some of the links that I have included on the right hand side of the page. Some are specific to adoptions from China and others are more general. I also have a good map of China there for you to look at - and after we get the LOA, I will share more about where our daughter is so that you can see where we'll be traveling to.
Thanks again for sharing this journey with us!
Michelle
Friday, August 31, 2007
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Winding Up Day #46 Since LOI Submitted
We are still waiting... and winding up day #46 since our LOI was submitted to the Chinese government. We have enjoyed sharing this blog site with all of you and we hope that you have found it to be a good place to check on our progress.
The entire concept of "waiting" is actually somewhat comical to us as a family. Ken and I talked about adopting already when we were dating (well over twenty years ago). When infertility and a miscarriage became a very painful reality for us, we had actually starting a domestic adoption - clear back in 1991. Over the years, many events helped us see that it was still in God's plan for us - a missions trip to Haiti with so many orphaned children, a video of Steven Curtis Chapman's song "When Love Takes You In", our boys' ongoing openness to having a sister, plus a million other points in time that are too endless to list. In mid-2004, we pretty well knew that it was time to decide - either jump in with both feet or just let it pass. We spent much time researching countries and adoption agencies so that we would be well informed, with as few surprises as possible. We continued to hear God's call to us and officially moved forward with an agency in December of 2005.
We began the paperchase (collecting and notarizing birth certificates & marriage licenses, statements about income, photos of ourselves and our home, writing letters to the Chinese government, doing police clearances and background checks, having medical exams done on everyone in our family, and doing a million other forms) in January of 2006. We also had to do a home study and work with our federal government to approve us to bring a child into the United States that they would offer citizenship to. We had everything bundled up and sent to China in late June of 2006 (this packet is known as a dossier). We were officially logged into their tracking system on July 12, 2006.
Once the Chinese government received our Letter of Intent (LOI) last month for our special little girl, they pulled our dossier and began reviewing it along with the updated paperwork that we sent them on July 13, 2007. They will get in touch with our daughter's orphanage to begin the adoption process. Once they have everything in order, they will send a LOA (Letter of Approval) to our adoption agency to let us know that we have been approved to become her family. After we get special Chinese travel visa's and their government's OK to enter their country, the fun travel arrangements can begin. Normally, its four to eight weeks from receiving the LOA to having your child in your arms - which is sounding more and more wonderful to us all the time!
I take a heavy sigh and remind myself that every day that passes is a day closer to having her home. God alone knows when the timing will be perfect, and He will see that all the pieces fall into place. It will happen - we just must continue to be strong and have faith. Thank you again for traveling this journey with us.
Michelle
The entire concept of "waiting" is actually somewhat comical to us as a family. Ken and I talked about adopting already when we were dating (well over twenty years ago). When infertility and a miscarriage became a very painful reality for us, we had actually starting a domestic adoption - clear back in 1991. Over the years, many events helped us see that it was still in God's plan for us - a missions trip to Haiti with so many orphaned children, a video of Steven Curtis Chapman's song "When Love Takes You In", our boys' ongoing openness to having a sister, plus a million other points in time that are too endless to list. In mid-2004, we pretty well knew that it was time to decide - either jump in with both feet or just let it pass. We spent much time researching countries and adoption agencies so that we would be well informed, with as few surprises as possible. We continued to hear God's call to us and officially moved forward with an agency in December of 2005.
We began the paperchase (collecting and notarizing birth certificates & marriage licenses, statements about income, photos of ourselves and our home, writing letters to the Chinese government, doing police clearances and background checks, having medical exams done on everyone in our family, and doing a million other forms) in January of 2006. We also had to do a home study and work with our federal government to approve us to bring a child into the United States that they would offer citizenship to. We had everything bundled up and sent to China in late June of 2006 (this packet is known as a dossier). We were officially logged into their tracking system on July 12, 2006.
Once the Chinese government received our Letter of Intent (LOI) last month for our special little girl, they pulled our dossier and began reviewing it along with the updated paperwork that we sent them on July 13, 2007. They will get in touch with our daughter's orphanage to begin the adoption process. Once they have everything in order, they will send a LOA (Letter of Approval) to our adoption agency to let us know that we have been approved to become her family. After we get special Chinese travel visa's and their government's OK to enter their country, the fun travel arrangements can begin. Normally, its four to eight weeks from receiving the LOA to having your child in your arms - which is sounding more and more wonderful to us all the time!
I take a heavy sigh and remind myself that every day that passes is a day closer to having her home. God alone knows when the timing will be perfect, and He will see that all the pieces fall into place. It will happen - we just must continue to be strong and have faith. Thank you again for traveling this journey with us.
Michelle
Friday, August 24, 2007
Day # 42, Waiting for LOA
Waiting has never been a strong point of mine. Waiting patiently has been even less of a virtue that I can maintain. As today draws to a close, it wraps up day # 42 of our wait to get the Letter of Approval (LOA) from the Chinese government. For those of you who have followed our journey from day one, this wait probably seems silly, tiny, even trivial. It is, however, the first significant wait we've had since we have seen her round face and chubby little cheeks. All the other months (and even years) of waiting have been without a photo of a special little girl - our daughter, pulling at our heartstrings. We so want to bring her home!!
Combing the internet, I see other families who have waited as little as 21 days to get their LOA. I have found others who have waited well over 100 days. The majority, however, seem to be waiting somewhere between 30 and 70 days after submitting their LOI (Letter of Intent) before the Chinese government returns a LOA to the family. We are in that range now, so hopefully, it won't be too much longer.
I encourage you to vote for a name - I did not limit how often you can vote, so please feel free to add a ballot each time you check this website. I will keep you updated as things change and progress. Thank you for being part of this special journey with our family!!
Combing the internet, I see other families who have waited as little as 21 days to get their LOA. I have found others who have waited well over 100 days. The majority, however, seem to be waiting somewhere between 30 and 70 days after submitting their LOI (Letter of Intent) before the Chinese government returns a LOA to the family. We are in that range now, so hopefully, it won't be too much longer.
I encourage you to vote for a name - I did not limit how often you can vote, so please feel free to add a ballot each time you check this website. I will keep you updated as things change and progress. Thank you for being part of this special journey with our family!!
Thursday, August 16, 2007
About Her Name
There is an interesting story related to the special names on the voting ballot. It might help you decide if I tell you the background. I have one sister, no brothers. Our father is the last male in his particular family tree branch. Thus, his last name would be ending. As a young girl, I always told him that I would have boys and not be married, so that I could leave their last name as his - thus continuing on the linage. When I married, my husband was well aware of my issue about "last names" and how a child is truly a blend of both parents/families, so guess what - the two children we had were given hyphenated last names. Thus, I kept the promise I had made to my father :-) and his name continued on. We worked hard to find first and/or middle names that were also a blend of my name and my husband's - Kenneth Allen and Michelle Lee. Thus came Bryant Kenlee and Alex Michael. When my sister had her first little boy, his name started with the letter C. We immediately began teasing her about having the "A, B, C's" (Alex, Bryant, and her son). The pattern was now set, even though it was purely by accident. Her next son's first name starts with the letter D, so guess what letter the next grandchild's name must start with? THE LETTER E.
As we've traveled on this adoption journey, many people have been aware of this "naming" procedure, so we've all been watching for unique and meaningful girl "E" names. Usually, we only refer to our daughter as "E" since we have no specific name selected yet. We have always intended to leave part of her Chinese name intact. We also plan to give her a hyphenated last name, just like the boys have. She will have a new first name, beginning with an E. Thus, her name will be a true blend of her entire life. She will have a new first name, her Chinese name, and a hyphenated last name.
Of the choices listed on this website's ballot, each has been selected with great care. If we name her Emylee (which means admiring, quick-witted, agile) or Emersyn (it doesn't have a meaning for a girl), we will likely just call her Emy for short. Elyse means "God's Oath" and is a form of Elizabeth, which was Ken's grandmother's name. ElleAnna is pronounced "Ellee-Awnuh" and she would probably be called Elle most of the time. That name means "God has Answered" or "Gift from God". Emylee would include my middle name and part of Bryant's. Elle is the last four letters of both my name and my sister's name - and is included in both Ellery and ElleAnna.... See why this is so difficult! This little girl is incredibly special. She comes with a rich cultural history and story of her life so far. She is being welcomed into a family that has its own traditions and heritage. We want to have a unique name for her that blends all this into one short, meaningful phrase. By voting on her name, we invite you to share the awesome journey with us!!
As we've traveled on this adoption journey, many people have been aware of this "naming" procedure, so we've all been watching for unique and meaningful girl "E" names. Usually, we only refer to our daughter as "E" since we have no specific name selected yet. We have always intended to leave part of her Chinese name intact. We also plan to give her a hyphenated last name, just like the boys have. She will have a new first name, beginning with an E. Thus, her name will be a true blend of her entire life. She will have a new first name, her Chinese name, and a hyphenated last name.
Of the choices listed on this website's ballot, each has been selected with great care. If we name her Emylee (which means admiring, quick-witted, agile) or Emersyn (it doesn't have a meaning for a girl), we will likely just call her Emy for short. Elyse means "God's Oath" and is a form of Elizabeth, which was Ken's grandmother's name. ElleAnna is pronounced "Ellee-Awnuh" and she would probably be called Elle most of the time. That name means "God has Answered" or "Gift from God". Emylee would include my middle name and part of Bryant's. Elle is the last four letters of both my name and my sister's name - and is included in both Ellery and ElleAnna.... See why this is so difficult! This little girl is incredibly special. She comes with a rich cultural history and story of her life so far. She is being welcomed into a family that has its own traditions and heritage. We want to have a unique name for her that blends all this into one short, meaningful phrase. By voting on her name, we invite you to share the awesome journey with us!!
Thursday, August 9, 2007
100 Questions - Well, at least 50.
I am one of those "chronic worriers". My husband tells me that I am a pessimist, but I sternly reply that I am not - I am a realist. I don't think he buys it though.... Through the many, many months of our adoption process, I have had plenty of "worries" and questions. As the light is starting to become visible to take us out of this tunnel and into the next phase of the journey, some of the questions have evaporated and been answered for me. Others still exist, and now new ones have crept in to take their place. I don't know if its a prayer list or as part of the spiritual journey, but I will list some of them here. Maybe by typing them, they will be off my chest and not something to be overly concerned about anymore. These are not in any particular order, just as they travel through my mind, down my fingers, to the keyboard, and onto the screen.....
1. Will our travel and time in China go smoothly without any horrible problems?
2. Will we have to fight with our health insurance provider to cover her needs?
3. Will she have been well taken care of in the orphanage where she is?
4. How well has her cleft palate and lip been repaired?
5. Will there have been some special "aunties" who cared for her and that she bonded with?
6. Will she be afraid of the loud noises at ballgames and the other wild activities in our lives?
7. Will her medical conditions be things that we can manage without putting too much of a strain on our family and finances?
8. Will we be able to find good day care for her in our community?
9. Will she come to love her big brothers and they her?
10. What about her mother in China? Is she ok?
11. What will the bad part be like when we meet E in China, and how long will it last?
12. What if she doesn't sleep at night when we return home?
13. What if there are problems that she has that we are totally unaware of and not able to handle?
14. When we return home, who will refuse to accept her or say stupid things about her race/medical issues?
15. Will her brothers be able to travel with us to get her and will their trip be a positive experience for them?
16. Will our school system be able to meet her unique needs?
17. Will the age gap between her and the boys be too much for them to really know each other?
18. Will she find good friends in her peer group?
19. Will we be able to help her when she feels "too different" from everyone else?
20. Because she is an older child than we expected, will she ever really attach to us and willingly become part of our family?
21. How do we answer the questions that she will have - especially the questions that really don't have an answer?
22. Will we have adequate funds to cover the adoption expenses without having to create new debt?
23. How will I react when a parent doesn't want their son to date her because of her race?
24. What if I don't feel the instant "love" I am expecting to feel?
25. How will I respond when people say insensitive things in front of her?
26. Will I be able to take enough "maternity" leave to get her settled into our crazy lives?
27. What if she doesn't like us?
28. Will she bond well with us, and us with her?
29. Will she ever fully feel like a member of our family?
30. What if she has too many behavior issues and we cannot help her?
31. Will the boys love her enough to protect her and shield her from hurtful things?
32. Will we find good health care for her and the needs she has?
33. What if the boys resent her and the way she has come into our family?
34. What was her family in China like and what were the circumstances in which they found themselves?
35. What if she doesn't like her new father or myself as her mother?
36. Will she be able to adjust to our busy schedules and hectic lifestyle?
37. How long will she scream and fuss when she gets into the car seat for the first time?
38. How much difficulty will we have understanding each other?
39. Will she come to resent us for taking her away from her native country?
40. What if she is not a happy child and spends her lifetime draining everyone around her?
41. Will we be able to help her learn about her culture in a way that allows her to be positive about her heritage?
42. What if my dreams about what it will be like are totally unrealistic and I am horribly disappointed?
43. What if she rejects us as her new family?
44. What if current relationships that we have are ended because of underlying issues with the other person in regards to race or her special needs?
45. What if she only wants the four of us and is afraid of everyone else for months?
46. What if she totally disrupts our lives and this was all a horrible mistake?
47. What if she bonds too strongly with one family member and others feel hurt or rejected?
48. Will we have room for her and the things she needs in our tiny cottage?
49. When will the first time be that she tells me "you aren't my real mother" and how deeply will it wound me when she does?
50. How many of these same basic questions did we have when we were pregnant with the boys and have just forgotten that we felt that way?
Ok, I feel slightly better... but surely I am not the only person who has these questions! I have heard the statement that 95% of what we worry about never comes to be. Since I worry so much, I am actually PREVENTING bad things from happening. I've only left 5% out there - and surely, we can handle 5%, right?
1. Will our travel and time in China go smoothly without any horrible problems?
2. Will we have to fight with our health insurance provider to cover her needs?
3. Will she have been well taken care of in the orphanage where she is?
4. How well has her cleft palate and lip been repaired?
5. Will there have been some special "aunties" who cared for her and that she bonded with?
6. Will she be afraid of the loud noises at ballgames and the other wild activities in our lives?
7. Will her medical conditions be things that we can manage without putting too much of a strain on our family and finances?
8. Will we be able to find good day care for her in our community?
9. Will she come to love her big brothers and they her?
10. What about her mother in China? Is she ok?
11. What will the bad part be like when we meet E in China, and how long will it last?
12. What if she doesn't sleep at night when we return home?
13. What if there are problems that she has that we are totally unaware of and not able to handle?
14. When we return home, who will refuse to accept her or say stupid things about her race/medical issues?
15. Will her brothers be able to travel with us to get her and will their trip be a positive experience for them?
16. Will our school system be able to meet her unique needs?
17. Will the age gap between her and the boys be too much for them to really know each other?
18. Will she find good friends in her peer group?
19. Will we be able to help her when she feels "too different" from everyone else?
20. Because she is an older child than we expected, will she ever really attach to us and willingly become part of our family?
21. How do we answer the questions that she will have - especially the questions that really don't have an answer?
22. Will we have adequate funds to cover the adoption expenses without having to create new debt?
23. How will I react when a parent doesn't want their son to date her because of her race?
24. What if I don't feel the instant "love" I am expecting to feel?
25. How will I respond when people say insensitive things in front of her?
26. Will I be able to take enough "maternity" leave to get her settled into our crazy lives?
27. What if she doesn't like us?
28. Will she bond well with us, and us with her?
29. Will she ever fully feel like a member of our family?
30. What if she has too many behavior issues and we cannot help her?
31. Will the boys love her enough to protect her and shield her from hurtful things?
32. Will we find good health care for her and the needs she has?
33. What if the boys resent her and the way she has come into our family?
34. What was her family in China like and what were the circumstances in which they found themselves?
35. What if she doesn't like her new father or myself as her mother?
36. Will she be able to adjust to our busy schedules and hectic lifestyle?
37. How long will she scream and fuss when she gets into the car seat for the first time?
38. How much difficulty will we have understanding each other?
39. Will she come to resent us for taking her away from her native country?
40. What if she is not a happy child and spends her lifetime draining everyone around her?
41. Will we be able to help her learn about her culture in a way that allows her to be positive about her heritage?
42. What if my dreams about what it will be like are totally unrealistic and I am horribly disappointed?
43. What if she rejects us as her new family?
44. What if current relationships that we have are ended because of underlying issues with the other person in regards to race or her special needs?
45. What if she only wants the four of us and is afraid of everyone else for months?
46. What if she totally disrupts our lives and this was all a horrible mistake?
47. What if she bonds too strongly with one family member and others feel hurt or rejected?
48. Will we have room for her and the things she needs in our tiny cottage?
49. When will the first time be that she tells me "you aren't my real mother" and how deeply will it wound me when she does?
50. How many of these same basic questions did we have when we were pregnant with the boys and have just forgotten that we felt that way?
Ok, I feel slightly better... but surely I am not the only person who has these questions! I have heard the statement that 95% of what we worry about never comes to be. Since I worry so much, I am actually PREVENTING bad things from happening. I've only left 5% out there - and surely, we can handle 5%, right?
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