Life is Interesting

09/11/2001 - We all remember where we were, what we were doing. We can still recall the reactions of those around us as we all watched in horror. I know exactly where I was, who called me first on my cell phone to tell me to turn on the radio. At first, the information was odd and not very accurate and then soon, we were bombarded with vivid, live footage of what was happening in cities so far away. I can still feel the dread in the pit of my stomach as I recall those events from what almost seems like a lifetime ago.

09/11/1990 - Another day that I have in my mind. I had gone to class in Laramie - not having told my husband that I'd stopped off at the base on my way to deliver a sample. He had believed that I was doing the test the next day, but I was too excited and did it a day early. We'd been taking fertility drugs and riding the roller coaster for months already then. I was anxious to know if it had finally worked!

I learned the amazing news of a positive pregnancy test later that afternoon, and shared it with one of my classmates as we tried to figure out a memorable way to let Ken know. I then called a married couple that we were friends with. The plan was that I was going to tell Ken that his friend had ordered a balloon boquet for his wife and we needed to pick it up. The balloons, however, were not going to be about an anniversary but rather about a new baby.... and they were from the baby and I to new Daddy Ken.

So, Ken and I strolled together through the mall to get the gift... arriving at the flower shop to a beaming cashier who was also in on the secret. She handed the balloons to Ken while I paid for them. He paid no attention, so I told Ken that he'd better check to make sure they were the right ones before we left with them.... The look on his face as he read "Congratulations", "Its a Boy" "New Baby" and all kinds of other fun things that were on the balloons was worth a million dollars. Ken was totally suprised and couldn't believe I'd kept it a secret all day long.

Up to that point in my life, I don't think I had ever felt that much joy and happiness before. It was AMAZING to know that things were finally working for us. The baby would be due on Mother's Day - just in time for me to be able to finish up my Senior year of college. The smiles and laughter were short lived, however, as we suffered a miscarriage about a month later - even after seeing our wee ones strong, healthy heartbeat on the ultrasound monitor things went very wrong.

Sadness and joy.... The ebbs and flows.... isn't that what life is all about? The Twin Towers, the Pentagon Building, Balloons for a new Daddy.... sadness in the ER as the doctor tells you that the baby you had wanted for so long is no more.... Its all a circle, contiuously moving...
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